Do You Have an 'Addiction Problem' or an 'Addiction Solution' to a Trauma Problem?

When most of us think of our addictions, we see the addiction itself as the problem. But what if it's realy how we have been trying to solve the real problem?

Addiction as a Coping Mechanism

At its heart, addiction often begins as a way to cope. Traumatic experiences — especially those that happen in childhood — leave behind raw emotional pain. Fear, shame, loneliness, despair, or powerlessness can feel unbearable when carried alone.

Addictive behaviours, at least at first, offer a kind of relief.

They numb pain, distract the mind, give temporary comfort, or create a sense of control. The alcohol calms the anxiety. The gambling brings a dopamine rush that drowns out despair. The bingeing fills the emptiness. Seen in this light, addiction isn’t the enemy. It’s an attempt — often the only one available — to soothe a trauma wound.

Sometimes Our Addictions Keep Us Alive

It may sound confronting, but sometimes our addictions are the very thing that makes life tolerable. In moments when the pain feels unbearable and we have no other way to soothe ourselves, the addictive behaviour can literally keep us alive by giving us something to hold on to.

We might not like the way it works, but it can be the fragile bridge between despair and survival. Recognising this doesn’t mean we want to stay addicted forever. It means we can hold a more compassionate view of ourselves: we did the best we could with the tools we had. Our addictions were not about weakness — they were about staying alive.

“The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain?” — Gabor Maté

The Deeper Trauma of Self-Rejection

When we look beneath addiction, we often find that the most painful trauma of all is self-rejection. Many of us were taught, directly or indirectly, that who we are is not good enough — too much, not enough, unworthy, unlovable. We internalised those messages until they became a voice inside our own heads.

This inner voice goes by many names: the inner critic, the superego, or the adaptive child. In essence, it is the way we adapted to the threats of childhood. We silenced parts of ourselves, exaggerated others, and twisted our nature into shapes that we believed would make us acceptable to our caregivers.

If the original trauma was being rejected for being ourselves, then every time we judge or criticise ourselves for the way we cope, we are reinforcing the same wound. Negative self-judgment becomes a continuation of the trauma, keeping us stuck in the cycle of pain.

This is why self-acceptance is not a luxury but a necessity in healing addiction. When we turn toward ourselves with compassion, we begin to rewrite the script. Our addictions no longer need to carry the impossible burden of protecting us from our own self-hatred. Instead, we start to find safety in our own presence.

Shifting the Lens: From Problem to Pain

This perspective doesn’t encourage addiction, but it does change how we see it. Instead of asking, “Why can’t we stop?”, a more helpful question might be:“What pain is this behaviour protecting us from, and what do I need to do about that pain?”

We stop seeing ourselves as broken, weak, or immoral. Instead, we see survivors who found a way to keep going in the face of overwhelming experiences. Is it the optimal solution? No, but its the only one we had at the time.

Therefore, the first step in healing is not judgment, but compassion and maybe even gratitude. Judging ourselves only feeds the cycle: pain leads to addiction, addiction leads to shame, shame leads to more pain. Compassion breaks that cycle. It lets us hold our past with kindness while gently moving toward healthier ways of coping.

Healing the Underlying Trauma

Recovery, then, isn’t just about giving up the substance or behaviour. It’s about healing the trauma that drives it. This might include:

• Therapy: Trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or inner child work. Any trauma focused therapy is good, but one that heals the inner critic goes to the core of the the problem.

• Safe relationships: Building trust with supportive people who can offer connection instead of judgment.

• Healthy coping strategies: Mindfulness, exercise, creativity, and other practices that regulate the nervous system.

• Compassion: Seeing ourselves not as “addicts,” but as survivors who deserve care.

• Integrating the shadow: Recovering the part of ourselves that we have judged and rejected.

A Different Kind of Solution

So the real question is “Do I have a trauma problem that my addiction is trying to solve?” Answering that question with honesty and compassion may be the first step toward real healing — not just from addiction, but from the pain that gave rise to it. The good news is that trauma can be healed, and when that happens the addiction becomes unneccesary, often leaving of its own accord.